The thought of having a son to me was scary.
My dad is one of my best friends, but I know that feeling of not seeing eye to eye with your father, and I know how easy it is to view ‘“Dad” as the person that’s out to get you.
As my daughter gets older, I find myself in awe of the reality of being a “girl” Dad. Quinn loves her Mom, but other than maybe making sure her clothes fit just right, there’s nothing that “daddy” can’t fix.
I know this stage won’t last forever, but now with a 3-year old and a soon to be 1-year old, we seem to be stuck in a never-ending stage of diaper changing, chicken nuggets, and early bedtimes. And hearing the word “daddy” just never gets old. The next stage for Quinn is exciting, while each of the next steps for Jude seems uncertain.
Now son, as you’re reading this some years later, I hope you’re not getting the wrong idea.
I once had the same fears with your sister. I had a fear of failing as a father. And I think it’s the same fear most Dads have, and a feeling you’ll likely experience one day too.
Being afraid to fail is normal. But, like I tell my cross country runners — if you don’t try, then failure is the only option. You can’t succeed without giving effort. You will fail if you don’t try.
While I have fear that you’ll one day reject me, I also know the feeling of comfort that only a Dad can give their son.
Like I said, your papaw Jeff is one of my best friends. We may not always see eye-to-eye, but he was my coach, the one who taught me to love God, the one who showed me how to lead, and the one who no matter will fix anything that is broken. This is a literal statement.
Son, I love you more than you know right now. I’m proud of you for what you’ve done so far, and the man that you will become.
And I will be proud of you no matter what you set out to accomplish.
If you choose to be a writer, great. If you’re in band and show choir, football or swimming. Just know, that your mom and I will love you all the same.
I will always be your No. 1 fan. And just like your papaw did with me, I promise that I will do whatever it takes to help make your life the best it can possibly be. I am by no means an expert. But I’ve had a pretty good teacher.
I love you, Jude. Happy Birthday!
Jared McMurry is a former Journal Review sports editor who continues to contribute sports coverage to the newspaper. He also is a husband, father, business owner and high school coach.
