A friend says that weeds are simply flowers out of place. Rude, obscene, and curse words are often words out of place.
I said “hell” during a sermon one Sunday, perhaps referring to the hell on earth people create for themselves. After church a woman told me, with a broad smile on her face, that her young son leaned over to ask, “Mommy, why does he get to use that bad word when I can’t?” That illustrates that a good word can be misunderstood as word out of place.
Of course, that depends upon acceptance of the norms and even agreement that there are such norms in language use. Now, obscene words and phrases, and even actions have become common on TV and in national publications. Older folks grumble, ‘Is nothing sacred anymore?’ In fact, various identity groups have strict norms and punish anyone who uses forbidden words — but otherwise anything goes.
Words, gestures, and actions fit together in a complex syntax to convey meanings. Imagine a Wabash team following a come-from-behind victory and exchanging words, handshakes or pats on the back while moving to the student cheering section shouting, “Wabash Always Fights,” some with fists raised with one finger indicating “we are one,” and singing the college song — a celebration. Picture an angry crowd gathered amid torched building and vehicles, bloody victims on the sidewalk, with clinched fists raised, some with one finger raised in an obscene gesture, shouting “fight,” to incite a riot and rage — an ugly spectacle. Violent words, gestures or actions begat violence.
One might argue that words or gestures in anger or rage are out of place, or at least dangerous. A wise saying is, “Don’t call anyone ‘idiot.’” Words in anger and rage are intentionally used to enflame the minds and hearts of others so they will also become angry and follow the guidance of the speaker. Or words and gestures are intended to goad the person receiving the anger to some embarrassing response. Or they are shared with other groups to enlist them in some dispute or fray. People respond to actions or gestures with other gesture or actions. Violence can result from words and gestures out of place. Media report road rage incidents ending in shootings, damage to vehicles, and injury or death to individuals.
Non-violence and calm responses cool overheated situations and make some positive progress possible. Another proverb states that a soft answer turns away wrath. We are fortunate that we have wise people who mediate between individuals and groups with soft words, calming gestures, and quiet discussion. The ability to have productive discussions that result in some common agreement about courses of action that might have salutary results is necessary for future flourishing. The Wabash Democracy and Public Discourse program at Wabash College provides trained facilitators who can assist local groups to conduct meetings that avoid anger and guide toward any common agreements that might be possible.
If we can’t reduce anger, wrath, and violence in Crawfordsville, we have little hope of having a calming influence in wider contexts. Each of us can strive to cool our anger, watch our language, and become the calming influence that will bless our families, our neighbors, and Montgomery County.
Raymond Brady Williams, Crawfordsville, LaFollette Distinguished Professor in the Humanities emeritus, contributed this guest column.
