Today’s article is about the pursuit of happiness. “Pursuit” implies that to be happy, one must first act. What kind of action? As a boy, I’d hunt rabbits by pursuing them in their woodland habitat. So, in this example, hunt is the action and rabbits are the prize, the “happiness.”
“Hogwash,” boomed a voice. “Who are you,” I asked?
“I’m Father Snowshoe, rabbit priest for Rabbitown. Dr., your example ignores three concepts about happiness. First, happiness is intangible — you can’t cook or eat it. Rabbit stew exists, but there is no such thing as happiness stew.
Second, what creates happiness for a child, will fail for adults. Finally, what makes one person happy may not work for another.”
“So,” I asked, “What are you proposing?” With a charming smile he bowed, “What a great coincidence — tonight I’ll be speaking about my new book, “Three Habits of Happy Rabbits,” so why don’t we split the conference in half: I’ll talk about creating happiness, and you discuss what destroys it.”
“I’m not sure,” I said. His long pink ears drooped down: “Dr. E, I apologize for being hard on you, I really need your expertise.” “OK,” I said, “but where’s the location of the conference?”
“At the Rabbitown Outdoor Arena, by the big bend in the river.” Father Snowshoe replied. Surprised, I shrieked, “I know that place! The house on the ridge overlooking the arena was my child-hood home. “He said, “Amazing — a second coincidence — see you tonight at the arena.”
Rabbitown Arena, 6:45 p.m.: Standing offstage, Father Snowshoe approached me, “Dr. E, when you hunted rabbits here, did you kill any?” “I never killed a single rabbit,” I said. “The closest I came was when I shot off the tail of a rabbit.” With a sigh of relief, Father Snowshoe exhaled, “Good.”
Over 10,000 rabbits packed the arena and, using their hind legs, they began to thump, thump, thump. Dressed in a purple robe, Father Snowshoe strutted up to the podium. “Tonight, will impact your life forever.” Holding his book up high, he beamed, “I’m going to teach you the Three Habits of Happy Rabbits:”
Habit 1: Awareness: I’m going to count back from five to zero. At zero, I’ll ask you a question. Ready? 5, 4, 3,2,1, 0.” Are you aware that you are breathing?” Yes! Came a rabbit roar. “Were you aware of your breathing before the countdown?” “No!” Awareness, which is now called mindful-ness, is a key part of happiness. If you are unaware of your blessings, then they don’t exist. Here’s some ways to learn awareness: Aerobic exercise, meditation, yoga.
Habit 2: Living in the Here and Now: Think of time as a river, and yourself as an explorer, travelling upon this river in your boat. The distance you have travelled is your past, the current position is your present, and what lies ahead is your future. Most rabbits have had harsh lives due to illness, floods, famine or being shot. These hardships create regrets and avoidance of any past pains. Regrets and avoidance pull you back in time, making it impossible to paddle your boat in the here and now.
A similar problem occurs with your future, whenever you ask, “What if?” What if I fail, get lost, or are abandoned? Fleeing from your past, and fear of your future rips off the rudder of your boat. What to do? “No one can change their past, but you can bet your last carrot that your past has changed you. Learning how your past has shaped you frees you up to paddle your boat in the now. Living in the present creates happiness because you can connect with what is unfolding, at the time it unfolds.”
Habit 3: Gratitude: Gratitude is the ability to give thanks for what we have. Since there are so many children here, any of you have an example of gratitude?
“Yes, my name is Flopsy, I’m a six-month-old bunny. I’m grateful for my 218 sisters and 210 brothers.” Father Snowshoe said, “Gratitude is developed by a simple act — each night, write down five to 10 things you are grateful for. Like learning to play a violin, your daily practice may be a chore, but I promise it will pay off. This quote by Buddha, also helps us understand gratitude:”
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die — so, let us all be thankful.”
“Please welcome Dr. E:”
“Thanks. Like rabbits, humans are social creatures. What happens if we lose relationships with family, friends, faith, or nature? We become sick. If relationships are severed by rejection, abandonment, death or other life adversities, loneliness, and fear seep into our hearts. This creates what I call a fear-based life. I tell my patients, “if you can learn to step aside from your fears, you can experience others in a new way. The name I call this new way is love.”
As the conference ended, Father Snowshoe approached me. “I want to show you something — He pulled off his robe, turned his back, and said, NO TAIL!º” You shot off my tail and I’m grateful. Why? As a boy, I wanted to be a movie star — like Peter Rabbit or Bugs Bunny — but the loss of my tail stopped it. Thank goodness I was spared a life of Me, Me, Me!”
As I left the arena, I realized what I had learned from Father Snowshoe:
Who has the key to unlock your heart, to open it before darkness turns it into rock?
Who has the power to change your heart, to warm it before aloneness freezes it into stone?
Who has a net, wider than the sea, to cast and reclaim all lost pieces of your childhood purity?
You do. The hands that hold your future are your very own; they are stronger than you think. The End.
The content of this article is for educational purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for treatment by a professional. The characters in this story are not real. Names and details have been changed to protect confidentiality.
References:
MJ Ryan, “Giving Thanks, the Gifts of Gratitude,” 2007, Conari Press.
Time Books, 2016, “Mindfulness, the New Science of Health and Happiness.”
Dr. Richard Elghammer contributes his column each week to the Journal Review.
